The ensuing quiet of the aftermath
by tatp
Summary: Holden and Naomi after the apology


Finally, Jim felt that he could breathe. She was here, next to him. And there was no arguing, no recriminations. Just the low hum of the Rocinante, and the gentle rise and fall of her chest against his.

The previous days had been tumultuous, to be sure. Between the hybrid pods, the Agatha King's damage, Mao, the kidnapped children, his mind could not even fathom all the danger, and the repercussions of all that had transipred. Compound that with all the friction between the two of them and a definite toll had been taken.

Naomi had been uncharacteristically distant and withdrawn, even for her. And his part in that cut him to the core. It wasn't so much her actions, he understood the why of it. It was the omission. She was a mother. And she hadn't told him. After everything they had endured, all the late night conversations about their lives, that was what she felt she needed to hide from him? It hurt him more than even he had expected.

He looked down at her, cuddled against him. She had come to his quarters, jittery and sheepish. One look at her, and he knew. This feud between them was over. All he knew was, life was too short. Easily taken away. Arguing with her was not an option. When she looked up at him with those dark eyes, tortured and brimming with tears, he reached for her. "It's all right. Don't say anything. Remember when I told you I would love you through it all? I do. And though I ignored it momentarily, I meant it. I still mean it."

Her breath stuttered from her chest, almost as if she was unaware she had been holding it. She smiled, but her eyes were watery, her nose red. An odd juxtaposition, and he couldn't imagine her more beautiful than in this moment. Because this? It was real. Raw, unadulterated emotion. She was affected. And in this, he knew. She truly loved him as much as he loved her.

He pulled her forward, the door sliding shut with a quiet snick. Lowering his head, his lips hovered over hers for what seemed like forever. And he waited until he heard it. "Jim..." she breathed, then leaned up, fusing her mouth to his. Her fingers raking through his hair, her body molding to his.

"I'm sorry. I was selfish. I never meant to hurt you." he whispered against her lips. But Naomi? She was never one for lots of chatter. She would show you, which she was intent upon doing at this time. She merely smiled at him while she stripped his jumpsuit off, and unzipped her own.

"Don't tell me. Show me." Stepping out of the jumpsuit, she reached behind her, but Jim stopped her. "Slow down. It's been awhile, and we've got no call to be anywhere for some time."

Removing her bra and tossing it aside, he cocked his head, studying her exquisite frame. Taking her by the arms, he backed her up against the bulkhead, and descended upon her, taking her lips in a slow, messy kiss. At the same time, one hand pinned her hands above her head. The other tracked down her body, stroking down the center of her body, then settling between her legs. He didn't touch her, just cupped his hand over her mound, to which Naomi groaned in frustration into his mouth. Eager to please her, he stroked a finger through her folds, in tandem with the thrusting of his tongue.

Naomi groaned again, shifting her hips to try to force further friction. "I need more, please Jim."

Releasing her arms, he lifted her, carrying her back to the bunk. "Damn did I miss you." Sitting up over her body, he lightly traced her delicate collarbones, her shoulders, then down to her breasts, which he slid down her body to needle with teeth and tongue. He continued his downward trek, settling his broad shouders between her thighs. He pushed her knees up, and slid his hands under her bottom. Looking up at her until she looked down at him, he locked his gaze on her face and took one long, slow lick of her folds from top to bottom. Her body jolted, and she grabbed her bottom lip between her teeth.

She was so sensitive, and receptive. Every single time his lips or tongue touched her, tiny tremors would run through her, her hands grasping for whatever she could hold on to. The tremors continued, more pronounced, and prolonged, until he pushed her right to the edge of her release. At which time he retreated, leaving her panting and nearly delirious.

Kissing his way back up her stomach, he turned her on her side, so they were face to face. She was flushed, her breathing erratic. But she knew what she wanted. She threw one leg over his hip, pulling his hips forward with the heel of her foot in the small of his back. Raising up slightly, she pushed up and off his chest, then sank down onto him, rolling her hips to ensure he was fully seated.

"Damn...Naomi..." Jim struggled to stay still, let her lead. But the sheer heat of her, the feel of her pulsing around him, made him feel dizzy. She needed to move, and soon.

As if reading his mind, she wrapped one arm across his back, and the other at his hip, and began to move. And she moved like water, a slow, hypnotic undulation that started in her hips and ended in her shoulders. Watching her move was almost as mesmorizing as the feel of her. Almost.

The thing that endeared her to him even more in these moments was the fact that, even though she barely spoke save breathy moans and whines, her eyes were always glued to his face. It was almost symbiotic, her passion mirrored the bliss written across his countenance. He, in turn, watched every micro expression that graced her flawless features, from the small furrow of concentration between her eyes, to the tightening of her mouth in sheer determination, hoping to stave off her completion until he did.

She suprised him, though, by speaking what was clearly troubling her. "I was afraid you would never forgive me. I didn't mean to hide it from you. I was just afraid you would be angry." leaning forward, she kissed his jaw, then his lips softly as she quickened her pace, and angled her hips to capture more friction.

"I was hurt. Not angry. But, I do understand why. Fuck, yes. Just like that. If you stop though, I will be mad. " he kissed her, mouths gently exploring.

Looking into his eyes, she realized he was serious. She had hurt him by simply not trusting what he had told her. Not trusting that he would love her through it all. Because, he had. He did. She kissed him again, working him harder. She needed him to know, she was his. She loved him.

Seeming to read what he saw in her gaze, he pulled her closer, running his hands down her back and rested them on her hips. Kissing her neck, he slowed the frantic pace she had set to a slow roll, making sure she felt every inch, every ridge, as he advanced and retreated. Tatooing the feel of his body in and around hers.

His effort was quickly rewarded. Naomi tightened around him, whispering his name as she spiraled into her release, her breath agitated, her limbs quaking.

For his part, as soon as he felt the beginning of hers, the floodgates of his broke wide open.

Pulling her as close as he could, he kissed the top of her head. She felt his breath hitch, and looked up, with a question in her eyes.

"I'm asking in earnest. If I asked you to stay, would you at least consider it?" he wanted her to say yes, more than he had wanted anything else in a long time.

Smiling, she placed a kiss over his heart. "Yes."


End file.
